When You’re Not as Fertile as the Duggars

Okay, seriously, is anybody as fertile as the Duggars? They’re a fascinating family in modern day America: parents raising 19 children conservatively, and they are now expanding into the next generation as their children marry and start their own families.

I see headlines about two of the older daughters’ courtships, engagements, and weddings. Last week's Duggar headlines say: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…” Yes, Jill (Duggar) Dillard and her husband Derick are expecting their first baby. People Magazine quotes Jill’s father as announcing “About 30 days after Jill and Derick got married they gathered everyone in the living room and shared the news.”

Thirty days. I have friends who have gotten pregnant in their first month of marriage and I think that’s great! But I’ve been married and trying to have a baby for quite a few years and that certainly isn’t newsworthy.

Oh to be as fertile as those Duggars. To be able to have so many babies! I have friends who believe in having lots of children, which they describe as “leaving your fertility up to God.” I agree with that philosophy, but what happens when we want to have babies, and we believe in God’s sovereignty in that aspect of our lives, you essentially leave your fertility up to God, yet you have no children? It’s not fun, but it is faith-building.

I believe in the same God as the Duggars. I believe in trusting God with our family’s growth. I believe that God knows so much more about me, about my husband, about our lives, about the lives of our children who are yet to come, because He knows what’s best, He’s doing what’s He determines is right. When my heart battles jealousy of those who conceive easily, I look to God, and I remember others that have walked this journey before me. When my heart is downcast, I must turn to God who gives me faith. In the Bible I read of Abraham, who is described in Romans 4:18:

Against all hope,
Abraham in hope believed
and so became the father of many nations,
just as it had been said to him,
“So shall your offspring be.” 

I encourage you to look up the rest of that scripture and ponder Abraham and Sarah’s faith journey. Once Sarah turned 60, it didn’t look likely that they would have kids, and certainly when she approached her 90s it looked impossible, but God had major plans for Abraham’s offspring, so against all earthly hope (which is backed by logical thinking) Abraham believed that God said that he and Sarah would have a child, and along came a miracle baby.

Some people have babies immediately. Others wait for years, even decades. I’ll keep trusting the God who gives and takes away, the God who gives the fruit of the womb in His timing, not mine. Will you believe with us for miracle babies? If you’re struggling to conceive, will you turn to God, believing – even when it doesn’t look possible?

If this is an issue close to your heart, please keep following my blog, as I will continue to write about this topic.

More posts by me in this fertility-challenged journey:

Yes, Yay, and Amen!

Praying for Your Future Children

You Turned My Mourning Into Dancing

Finding Grace

 

Hi, I'm Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot, eating at our favorite Italian restaurants, and doing life as a team. I published my first book Embracing Hope During Infertility in January 2015. You can learn more about me here. I invite you to connect with me by following my Hope During Infertility Facebook page or my Betsy Herman, Writer Facebook page. Thanks so much for reading my posts!