That Blue Circle [Thoughts on Praying Over Your Dreams]

Just the other day we watched the movie Crazy Rich Asians (which is set in Singapore), and one thing that caught my attention is how the characters refer to "chasing your dreams" or "pursuing your passions" to be an American thing. An audio book I was listening to that very afternoon alluded to the same concept - that this generation of Americans is all about pursuing their dreams.

I'm part of that dream-chasing culture.

I also saw a Facebook post this weekend, where a woman reminded herself that her hard work of raising children is the reality of LIVING HER DREAM. Motherhood is what she longed for and dreamed of, and now it's the daily grind. Those of us who spent a lifetime hoping to become mamas and now have offspring in our care can relate. It's not always pretty and it's not always fun, but motherhood was my dream (along with a few other things), so in the most difficult moments, I must remind myself that this is my dream come true. (Note to self: when you don't have time to think, much less write the blog post you want to write, it's because you're living your dream of motherhood.)

Several years ago, the book club I was part of read The Circle Maker. I was inspired to cut a large circle out of blue poster board, and on New Year's Day I wrote down my dreams and hopes and prayers. A year or so later I stuffed it behind a bookshelf, frustrated that so many things I had prayed for had not come to pass. My husband noticed, and asked me if I was frustrated with unanswered prayers. Yes.

I love that God noticed too, and in His timing, He has answered many of those prayers. (Though some still await His answer.) A few months ago, nearly three years after writing my list, I pulled that circle out of the box where I had shoved it and crossed off answered prayers, thanking God for His faithfulness.

I had another piece of blue poster board with a list of women I was asking God to give babies too. Those babies haven't come flooding out of the sky like a scene from the animated movie Storks, but slowly, steadily, surely, God has answered many of those prayer requests with sweet babies filling empty arms.

This past year, God answered our prayer for a baby, and we love her immensely. I am grateful to be able to be a full-time mom and part-time everything else, even though it means financial sacrifices (and sacrifices of my time and energy). I am living my greatest dream of "being a wife and mom," I am navigating the challenges, yet I still have other dreams. Kicking off a new year reminds me to evaluate those dreams, and prayerfully pursue and commit to the things I believe God has set before me. (I wrote about doing the things you're called to do in this post.)

I turned 39 just before this new year began. If God gives us additional children, I might be having babies in my 40s. Knowing that the Big Four Oh is around the corner, I want to live my life fully. For the first time in many years, "having a baby" is not my primary New Year's Resolution. (Although a baby would be welcome in 2019, our 7 year wait for our first child taught us that God knows best, and He will give us a baby if and when He determines.)

While I focus on being a wife and mom this year, I hope to do a few other things as well:

- Write more. I have one or two or three books that I want to finish writing, but finish and publishing one of them in 2019 is a reasonable goal. Also, I hope to read more real books and less of Facebook!

- Run more (and lose weight and get healthier). I have begun running again after a long pregnancy-and-postpartum break. I have a plan mapped out and am signed up to run a half marathon in May, because it's good for my body, and it's really good for my mind!

- Sing more and play instruments more. My little baby likes music, so we sing together. She and I each have a new ukulele, so I'm teaching myself how to play it while teaching her to love music!

That's the short version of my hopes and dreams for 2019. I'm working on my next poster board of prayers, where I will write out my big requests to a big God who loves to answer in big ways! I thank Him for answering some of my greatest requests that I wrote down several years ago. I encourage you to write out your prayers - the big and the small - and continue praying over them. 

Now, what about you? Do you set goals for the year ahead or make resolutions? Do you come up with "one word" or ask God what word He's speaking for your year? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

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Do you hope to write a book in 2019? Or maybe you want to finish one you've started working on? I am preparing a series of blog posts for you!

Also, I hope to get my email list up and running again -- until then, keep an eye on social media for updates from Betsy Herman, author.

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Hi, I’m Betsy, married to Mike since 2008, delighted that our long-awaited baby girl has joined us in 2018. We live in the Washington, D.C. area. We enjoy exploring new cities together on foot and doing life as a team. My first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility is intended to infuse hope into your heart! Seasons: A Picture Book, although written for children, can point readers of all ages toward the goodness of God, even in the darkest times. This year I published Write Your Story for new authors or people who dream of writing a book. I hope that it helps you finish writing publishing your own book as well. Thanks so much for reading this post!