My Presence Will Go With You, and I Will Give You Rest

As I followed my family out the door one unusually chaotic Sunday morning (and trust me, many Sunday mornings have their challenges since the devil doesn’t want Christians worshiping God together), I prayed, "God, may we know and see Your presence today."

And He reminded me of the Scripture I meditated on during our move to Hawaii: “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (NIV)

At the beginning of 2020, my husband’s job moved the three of us: my husband, toddler daughter, and me from Maryland to Hawaii. We anticipated a better job for my husband and a more relaxed life as I cared for our daughter as a stay-at-home-mom. I envisioned her playing contentedly with her toys while I finished writing the book I was working on. I imagined a peaceful, restful life ahead. I planned to have a tidy home, to make friends, and to explore Oahu. I knew God was leading us. When our flight took off from the East Coast early in the morning, I contemplated Psalm 139:9-10: “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

During our initial weeks in our new state, the job transfer provided a hotel stay while we awaited the shipment of our furniture and household goods. When my little one took an afternoon nap, I often sat on the hotel balcony to write. I would look out at the palm trees, rainbows, and the sunlight glistening on the water. I felt thankful – and inspired. Those peaceful moments were how I envisioned Hawaii living.

As a constant reminder of the Scripture God had encouraged me with, I displayed an index card scrawled with the declaration: “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” One day I chatted with a mom playing with her small children at the swimming pool, hoping that she was also in process of relocating to the island and that she could be my friend. Why did she catch my attention? She had that exact Bible passage tattooed on her shoulder! (She didn’t move here, but I loved that her tattoo reminded me again of God’s leadership.)

We soon moved into our apartment, unpacked our belongings, and I upgraded the index card by writing the passage on my decorative chalk board. I hung it over our kitchen table as a daily reminder: “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Within days we learned that we were facing a worldwide pandemic. We grappled with new concepts like quarantines, masks, and stay at home orders. Hawaii closed beaches and public parks, with hefty fines for violators. Soon my husband began working from home. The three of us stayed home, in a small apartment, without friends or church community. I felt out of sorts. This was not going according to my plan!

Then, later that spring, God answered a long-standing prayer. We became pregnant with our second child! We felt thankful, especially since any pregnancy I have is a miracle after our years of infertility. I felt delighted to be pregnant, but I also felt exhausted. Other than fatigue and nausea, I had a very healthy pregnancy.

Then our baby died. I write about this a lot because it had huge impact on our lives. Our baby boy, named Noah, suddenly stopped moving when I was 34 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas, during the height of the pandemic, 5,000 miles away from our family, we found ourselves planning to go to the hospital to deliver our stillborn baby.

I look back at the year 2020 and see the pandemic and tremendous grief. I also see clearly that God was with us, providing for us, and making Himself known. That Christmas season, I knew like never before that He is Emmanuel, God with us. God’s presence was evident.

God allowed my parents to travel quickly from North Carolina to Honolulu. God spoke to my heart with His peace and made known His presence day and night as we awaited the birth. God covered our hospital room with His presence. Countless times we have marveled in gratitude that God placed us in the beauty of Hawaii as we grieved and recovered. Instead of looking at gray winter skies, most days included sunshine and rainbows.

When this happened, we had lived in Hawaii for less than one very socially distanced year. Although it seemed that we only knew a handful of people, everyone offered help. Home cooked meals poured in from acquaintances and strangers. Friends and family on the east coast ordered restaurant meals to be delivered. God provided all our financial needs. God’s presence was with us day after day.

Since then, we’ve faced more trials. My little family has worked through grief. We miss our Noah. We still have rough days. And getting out the door to church on a Sunday morning is often a challenging moment.

God’s presence was evident to me during our darkest days. And His presence is with us on ordinary days when we’re struggling with daily life. Did God promise us easy days? Did He promise us a life without struggle? The longer I live, the more I realize that life includes suffering. In John 16:33 (NIV), Jesus tells us that “in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

God hasn’t made life easy or perfect, but He has responded to my prayers for our family as we moved to Hawaii: “God, we want Your presence go with us, and we want You to give us rest.”

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Since writing this post in 2022 we have been blessed with another daughter, and we have moved back to the mainland. I still ask God regularly for His presence to go with us, and more than ever, we need His rest. Thankfully He provides restful moments like this one, when I can dig up old blog posts and finally share them. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Please check out my books on Amazon.