When my MOPS group
announced the upcoming Mom Prom, I was on board! (MOPS stands for Mothers Of
Preschoolers, it’s a mom’s group for any mamas with children younger than first
grade and I LOVE IT. And did you know that Mom Prom is actually trademarked so I'll just go ahead and say we didn't have an official Mom Prom!)
I wasn't sure what I would do at a Mom Prom other than dress up in any
fancy dress I felt like wearing (well, it had to be a dress that I could fit
into after having had a baby last year because my baby weight sure didn’t melt
off instantly). I RSVP’d yes as soon as I saw the invitation. With prayers that
our baby wouldn't fuss too much while staying home with my husband, I began to
make preparations.
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| On my way to Mom Prom (which was much more fun than my real prom 21 years ago) 21 years... how did I get so old? |
A couple of weeks
before the big day, I dug into the back of my closet and started pulling out
dresses. A friend was coming by to borrow one for a wedding.
"Wow, I have a
lot of dresses," I told myself. For someone who doesn't dress up very
often, I sure have held on to a lot of them. When was the last time I wore an
actual dress? My baby shower more than a year ago?
If Marie Kondo were going
through my closet with me, she'd quickly understand why I own so many dresses.
They bring me joy, so much joy! Oh, the memories! The stories each one holds!
Plus, I either paid a lot for them (ahem, bridesmaid dresses that I don't want
to dump at Goodwill), or I paid next to nothing for them (and I can't part with
such a good deal!)
First, I ran my
fingers over the the black and red polka dot dress I wore to a New Year's Eve
dance more than a decade ago. I was secretly hoping that a certain guy who had
caught my eye would be there. He was not there... but he did ask me out on a
date a couple three days later, and our wedding was 10 months after that, so it
all worked out. I haven't worn that dress since, and I’ve been slow to part
with something holding such a sweet memory! Maybe I’ll find a new home for it
next winter so someone else can enjoy it.
Having been a
bridesmaid 5 times, I have held onto 3 (or maybe 4) of my dresses. The two most
recent dresses might be re-sellable - but one of them has pockets! Why would I
get rid of a perfectly good dress with POCKETS!?
Then there's the
little black dress I wore on a date or two around the time we got married, and
the other little black dress that I wore to our wedding rehearsal. These are
full of joyful memories – and they might still fit – or not – but I can't part
with those either!
A favorite black dress
with a halter top and a tail (is that the right word? No, not a raccoon tail like I
saw attached to the jeans of a random young woman at the Raleigh, NC mall one winter day, but a V
cut making the back of the dress longer than the front) – that dress holds
memories from one spring at my private Christian college. My friend and I
skipped class (well, maybe I skipped class and she didn't?) Regardless, it was
time for my class when we drove to the mall so I could find a dress. I came
home with this dress and loved it enough to wear it to the spring dance along
with that same friend and our mutual date. (Yes, one guy took two girls because
the guy-girl ratio is really messed up at a Christian college.) I laugh at the
memories, and I tried on that dress just the other day – nearly twenty years
older, at least twenty pounds heavier, with the straps of my nursing bra showing
under that halter top, but the dress sort of fit. I thought about wearing it to
Mom Prom.
Instead, the morning
of our big event, I selected a skirt from a two-piece bridesmaid dress from
fifteen years ago. That friend’s wedding was the same January when I last dyed
my hair – it came out so red that I have been hesitant to dye it ever since!
I looked in the mirror
at that fun bridesmaid skirt (which of course brings me joy because it holds
fun memories from my dear friend’s wedding and it was sewn by my very talented
mother!) Since I no longer own the top to the dress, I paired it with my
sister's velvet top from a music performance a decade or two ago. And since I'm
not the same size I was back then, I made it all come together with one of
those belly bands that help pregnant women fit their regular jeans. (Of course,
my belly band was barely used since I was not the kind of pregnant woman who
wore her regular jeans – and my tummy was so nauseous in those early months of
pregnancy that a tight band just wasn't going to work.) However, that belly band was just what I need for my postpartum self to wear that bridesmaid outfit from
many years ago.
For this
I-don't-dress-up-much mom to get ready for Mom Prom, I had just a few more
details to take care of. I painted my toenails that hadn’t seen the light of
day all winter long then I wiped off my chipped blue fingernail polish and adorned
my hands with sparkling nail stickers from the Dollar Tree (and they looked
good for a week!).
I selected my favorite
dangly earrings that I no longer wear since my toddler is likely to tug them. (I
haven't had great success with studs either – she pulls pearl earrings out of
my ears and pops them into her mouth like candy). I figured I’d dig out a pair
of heels I never wear, get the baby and her daddy settled, then figure out how
to drive across town with my fancy bridesmaid dress on.
And since the timing
was perfect, and we were planning a family outing to Chick-fil-a before Mom
Prom, I squeezed in a quick haircut at the nearby salon inside Walmart (because
I have a low budget for this frequently ponytailed hair, so the Walmart salon
works for me!)
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I was going to crop this photo -
but TOYS are REAL LIFE!
|
Mandy Arioto, the CEO of MOPS
International just published a book called Have More Fun: How to be Remarkable, Stop Feeling Stuck, and Start Enjoying Life, challenging women to have more fun in every area of life. This
past year has been a major year of transition for our family: moving to a new
state, having our first baby, and me primarily staying home with our little one
instead of working full time as I had done for 16 years. These things have
brought both joy and stress to our family - and I've repeatedly said that the
best decision I made as a new mom in a new town was joining MOPS. It gave me
instant community with other like-minded mostly-stay-at-home-moms (I say “mostly”
because many of us have a side gig to make being home with our babies work out
financially). In a new season of life, in a new town, I had people to have
playdates with, to receive prayer and counsel from, and people to connect with
when otherwise I might feel very isolated. This community has been good for
many areas of my life, and with parties like Mom Prom, my MOPS group has helped
me to Have More Fun!
“Honey, have you seen my
high heels since we moved here?” I asked my husband. We’ve lived here for eight
months, and my missing shoes clearly indicate that I have not dressed up much
since then. I dug around in some closets but couldn’t find my sparkly gold
wedding shoes or my comfy black heels. Oh well, an excuse to wear flats! (I’m
finally finishing this post ten days after Mom Prom and I have no idea where my
high heels are hidden.)
With my freshly washed
and blow-dried hair, sparkly fingernails, and floor-length gown, I hopped into
my old Honda with an empty baby carseat in the back. I felt a little giddy to
be going somewhere without the toddler I adore! I drove the few miles down the
road to the beautiful home where Mom Prom was happening, with a chorus from
Daniel Tiger playing in my head, "Grown-ups come back to you, grown-ups
come back!" I hoped my sweet, very attached-to-her-mama baby would realize
I was coming back soon.
I parked my car, thinking
about how much more relaxed I was than the night of my awkward senior prom,
when I didn’t have a date and I attended prom with a handful of girlfriends and
stood nervously and awkwardly in the school cafeteria like a wallflower. Come
to think of it, my senior prom was probably the only dance I attended as a
teenager. I went to a few dances in college, but dancing was never my thing.
Good news, Mom Prom didn’t obligate me to dance - it was just an opportunity to
dress up and hang out with girlfriends, fellow mamas who are equally delighted
to have a night out to eat, chat, and take photos with the only man who dared
to join us – a life-sized cardboard prince.
Mom Prom, you were fun, and a simple night like that reminds me to live life
abundantly, fully, and joyfully, both in the silly moments and the mundane moments of motherhood.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hi, I’m Betsy, and I live in the Washington, D.C. area with my husband, Mike. We have been married since 2008, and we welcomed our first baby in 2018. You can read about our long road to parenthood
in these blog posts, or in my first book, Embracing Hope During Infertility.
Seasons is my second book, although it's written for children, it will point all readers toward the goodness of God – especially in the darkest times. Most recently I published a book for new authors or people who dream of writing a book. I hope that Write Your Story helps you finish your book as well! I have another book in the works… so make sure you follow me on social media to learn more about it.
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